Cynicism

You know, the title to this blog mentions one of my "negative", less understanding attributes: Cynicism. I have no issues with the fact that I am cynical. If I may be bold (arrogant) enough to mention that I think that many cynical people tend to be quite intelligent. Of course, simply because I find this to be true does not mean it is a positive attribute to have. In some respects, it can make a person bitter, and I have found this to be the case in myself. As I feel my mind is maturing to be more and more intellectual, I find I lose touch with the ability to see other people's thoughts with a positive gleam. In certain circumstances, sarcasm is my way of building attention on things I deem idiotic while still holding face from showing my full blown cynicism. I also find myself having to, more and more, consciously retract my words from lashing out and deconstructing others' thoughts in a less than friendly demeanor. It is an issue that I am well aware, and while I do think it is growing into an elitist state of mind, it is difficult to stop.

On that note, is all lost? No, I wouldn't say so (my bias speaks). I recognize that when I look people in the eyes, I give people respect no matter the circumstance - luckily, my cynicism has yet to escape my outstretched arms and is largely contained to dialogue of the internet world. Maybe the vastness of the internet and my exposure to a wide variety of people has billed me my compassion a bit. Still, I should continue to humble myself, for I am, in many respects, nothing. Just as I get frustrated with the thought processes of certain people, I should also recognize that in certain aspects of life, I am, and always will be, an idiot.

A lot of things annoy me, and I could spend my hours deconstructing every annoyance I have, or I can work on a far more constructive goal of working on seeing the positive sides of people; or, at the very least, separate myself from those that I find my cynicism wanting to lash out, because I am only feeding negativity.

It is extremely difficult to step away from something so moored in one's being, though. I loath dulling myself to please, what I consider, dull people (my arrogance speaks, I am aware).

I have so much more to say, but my mind is flooding with ideas faster than I can deliver in writing, so I will end things here. Still, this is an issue that I should work on, for I am no god, but I crave intellectual discussion so much I am tempted to pick intellectual fights with people in hopes to fill a largely unfilled chasm.

Listening to: "Right in Two" - TOOL (pretty fitting, honestly)

Rant: Distanced, Disingenuous Dumbasses

When someone says/writes something along the lines of, "I'm having a horrible day, everything is falling apart in front of me", and people reply with, "keep your head up, just keep smiling", I have to admit, that is some lazy ass comforting on the part of the people replying. Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to accomplish? Person says they're having a horrid day, and people tell them some general advice that, in all honesty, is more telling them how they should be behaving rather than comforting.

JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP SMILING!! :) :) :)

Fuck off. Seriously, I know plenty of people will disagree with me, and I'm allowing my emotional side to dictate a bit more than usual, but YOU ARE SAYING NOTHING HELPFUL. Granted, one could argue that just them typing that might impact the depressed person to feel better, because they are being thought about, but I disagree; when a person writes or says something lazy like that, it is very dismissive, it has more to do with them half-assedly trying to remain a "good" person while investing as little brain power into the matter as possible. Either commit to the damn problem or keep your trap shut.

Committing to helping someone goes along these "extra mile" requirements:

- Asking what the issue is, telling the person (emphatically and seriously) that if they need someone to speak to they should reach out to you.

- Putting some brain power into either problem solving, comforting, or a combination of the two.
- Checking in on the person after the "initial contact" has been made.

I genuinely believe that people who say things like "I'll pray for you!!!!", or "Everything happens for a reason, everything will work out", are either A) Dumb as brick, or B) Lazy, C) Want to seem like good people with as little involvement as possible, or D) a combination of the previous three options.

As weird as this might be, and why this would set me off, I do not fully know, but it's something I notice every day from a vast majority of people, and is it my problem? Probably, but fuck it, and fuck you half ass ingenuines.

Rant over.

Listening to: Ice Age (Deadmau5 Remix)