Unleashing the Child Side

Someone posted, on Facebook, how ridiculous someone (a young adult) with "light up" sneakers looked. It got me thinking that we really have a lack of patience for anything childish that gets exhibited by anyone "other than" a child. I don't mean to step to the defense of immaturity, but there is a distinction between being child-like and immature. I, along with a seemingly small percentage of people, find immaturity unattractive, romantically and platonically. I feel as if a lot of people, an even greater percentage, find a person embracing their child-like side to themselves to be even more unattractive. I find this saddening, because it is incredibly telling of American culture to set an age limit or goal on many things (Adult = 18, Alcohol = 21, Get a Job = 16, Rent a Car = 25, etc). I genuinely believe that everyone should embrace their child self for the rest of their lives. I mean, think about it, when you were a kid, you were care free, happy, spoiled, creative, unrestricted, and finally, more importantly, physically and emotionally free. Now, I understand that an adult has to take care of business throughout life, but failing to realize the beauty of one's own oddity and care free attitude is, in my mind, unhealthy.

I do not subscribe to the notion that once a person reaches a certain age, they must fall in line and fill the shoes of a respectable, responsible adult. I firmly believe that a person should be able to allow the kid inside them to blossom from time to time to release steam, express themselves freely, and become, overall, more approachable as a person. You'd be surprised how often you end up laughing, spending less time rigidly standing, releasing the built up pressures inflicted upon yourself when you simply decide to be a little silly, indulge in some innocent fun. As a matter of fact, watch most people talk to their pets - the immediate jail break to a person's child side; people become completely different when their pet is being given their attention - they become playful, start emulating different voices, and their imagination makes them believe their pet can understand them. That last point is really interesting to me, because although their rational side would tell them otherwise, they simply ignore it and enjoy the moment for what it is, devoid of attention on the world around them (which they would, otherwise, see as judgmental).

I'm telling you, if you have some fun little quirks about you, you should absolutely not be ashamed of it, nor hide it, but express it as a demonstration of your difference and love for yourself in a light unlike your serious, reserved one. Don't get me wrong, I believe there are far too few people who allow themselves to sit down and actually think for themselves, but I also feel that many people fail to realize that it is okay, and not only that, but healthy to embrace your 8 year old self from time to time; I feel as if most people are in an uncomfortable limbo between acceptance and nonacceptance, and feed into the cyclical pattern of judgement on others (who return the favor), because we're all too damn scared to be ourselves to the fullest extent. Trust me, even I'm still battling it.

Listening to: Foster the People, "Don't Stop (Color the Walls)"

The Business

If all goes well with the connection between my domain name and my website editor, tomorrow or the next day (can take up to 48 hours, I've been informed) will be a big day for me - the "grand" opening of my business. Much excite. I had this idea back in October, so the past half a year has been dedicated to making this idea a reality. I had planned on launching in January to begin with, but then had to postpone to February, and then had to postpone indefinitely due to legal matters. Now that those are all taken care of, I have a bunch of small things that I had planned on finishing before the business opened, but quite frankly, I am beyond tired of waiting. That being the case, once this final major link fits into the chain (in the next day or two, hopefully), the announcement will be made and the website will be open for customers. Although I realize almost nothing will happen in the beginning months, it is still exciting to consider that everything I do from here on out will be a positive extension to growing and publicizing my business. I'm quite ready to put my knowledge to the benefit of others while also taking a step in the right direction to carving out a career for myself.

As for the small things that will be added later, I only see those are sweeteners to an already great venture - I'll be enthusiastic to add those in at a later date. Not only is this business legitimate, it provides a chance for me to establish myself, and it fits smoothly with my studies for which both will benefit from one another. Does it get better than that? Nope. This should be a lot of fun, and bounding with excitement.

Listening to: Led Zeppelin, "Ramble On"

Craving Intellectual Release

I have no recollection of why I got a Facebook in the first place, but as time has gone by, I've used it as a medium to express myself in certain aspects of life. That isn't unique to anyone, because everyone, more or less, uses it for similar, if not identical, reason. I will sometimes sit 10-15 minutes in front of my computer thinking of how to properly word a "status update" so that it is impactful, often open ended, and above all, worth while. I sometimes post things of a silly nature, true to who I am, but as I see many people are able to express themselves in a silly nature, I see it as an obligation to show a more intellectual (if you would consider it that) nature to my posts - not always because I have superior knowledge, but because I am trying to illicit a reaction in other people's minds to enter a dialogue with me and others in hopes to stretch our minds a bit. I've recently held the belief that discussion can really further a person's intellectual worth along with their interest as a person. We seem, often, to be so numb to the idea of growth and development from a personal nature - meaning, not from schooling or practical application, but rather, growing into oneself by opening ourselves to mediums of communication and inevitably, challenges. The more we open avenues of communication to things that we love to discuss, the more enriched we can become. While many people are extremely proficient at gossip and although rarely admit it, they've come to enjoy it; it seems our ability to delve into the depths of a good fireside discussion have become foreign to us. The ability to appreciate the presence of a mind with unique thoughts to one's own is something we should not take for granted. While others don't seem to care for it much, I find that I crave for it so much that it angers me to see potential golden conversations thrown away by the smallest intrusions. I have had the privilege to sit down with a small assortment of people and enjoy losing ourselves, together, in the passions of our own minds. These moments come only a few times a year, if that, and I find myself noticing when they seem to be coming to fruition. As I notice, I also find myself getting desperate to encourage the conversation along its path, but often am superseded by the entrance of "distractions" (food, people not involved in the conversation changing the subject, TV, among many other things). As this is the case, it is almost impossible to salvage the conversation unless the other conversationalist(s) also feel the glee from conversation with more merit than their daily talks ("How was your day?", "What did you do today?", "Where should we eat?") and push the conversation forward regardless of distractions (extremely rare for this to happen).

In essence, my ideal is this: A room of a few people (I'm not particular about the number) sitting or standing with all their electronics off (or an EMP goes off, your choice) and readily hungry to listen and passionate to express their views. I don't give a rat's ass if we get anywhere with our conclusions, but the act of listening and engaging in challenging exchange of thoughts is riveting, constructive in its own right, and fun for many people, regardless of if they notice it now or not (which, can be ascertained, or seemingly so, by the length of each one of these sessions).

I just came to a realization... maybe I got my psychology degree, because I craved the hour long discussions of things that matter with a person, uninterrupted by "other things". That's a romantic possibility. I also just realized that I was going somewhere completely differently with this post and my mind zipped me in this direction... I was going to talk about Facebook posts and the nature of my "commenting", but I guess I had something more pressing to discuss, ha! Very cool.

Listening to: Above & Beyond, "A Thing Called Love"

The Post Relationship Breakdown

I've been noticing this for a couple years now, but since I just recently started this small writing venture, I've been unable to really comment on the hilarity that is people who re-emerge into the world around them when they make an exit from their recently collapsed relationship. The almost unbelievable intensity with which many people throw themselves into a relationship is indicative of several things, but I'm not here to discuss those here, but rather, the affect it has on their social standing while they are in a relationship and afterward.

I've seen a multitude of people run head first into relationships, glorify their newly acquired significant beyond reasonable expectation, and from that point of "linkage" between them self and their romantic partner, their friendships begin to fall to priority numero deux; so much so, that in some cases, their newly acquired significant other has this powerful ability to sway their suitor into agreeing with them on nearly everything, and by doing so, reducing the trust between year-long, decade-long friendships to an easily cut string. Of course, I consider this an unhealthy relationship, but again, I am not here to discuss that point. My point is when said relationship fails (if it fails), the result is an immediate attempt to reintegrate oneself into a social sphere that was almost immediately abandoned when said relationship began.

This is the point when the awkward re-merging begins. From a massive influx of praise and love for the ex-significant other, the very noticeable turn to self reflective, consoling, empowering quotes, the immediate cropping of pictures with which the boyfriend or girlfriend used to partake in, the sudden increase in outsourcing praise to estranged friends (or God/Jesus) in an attempt to seem included from day one, and in some cases, the "I don't need someone else to make me happy" posts come shrieking in from all sides as social media becomes an outlet for raw emotions having completely, utterly overcome any levee holding back the flood of emotion that is a person now detached from their life source - someone else. These are the exact symptoms, I believe, in an unhealthy relationship with someone other, a forever weak bond between friends, and above all, a massive lack of relationship with oneself.

All of what I've written is simply speculation based on observation of teenagers to 20 something year olds, so I could be completely off base, but I have observed it quite often within that small sample, and again, I'm not going to try and be politically correct about everything here.

Listening to: Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"

Random Thought II

How many "best friends" can women have at one time?

Styles of Writing

As I sat down today to do some writing in this thought cauldron, I had planned on writing some on the quote, "Everything happens for a reason". Mainly, because it is used almost every day by a vast majority of people, or so it seems, at least. Instead, as I clunked down into my seat in Joyner Library (my university library), I was swept away with the various "styles" of writing a person can use to deliver specialized messages. When I look at my own writing, I notice that I can write relatively casually, more technically (philosophically inclined), and artistically. Without a doubt, writing in a casual sense, as I am now, is the easiest of the three. I don't focus on the technicalities of my writing, because my writing tends to be more accepting of a "stream of consciousness" influence. However, as I switch gears into a more philosophical mind set, I tend to make sure that each word has a specific, meaningful impact on my overall point; each word is chosen with tactical precision. Meanwhile, my third and final style of writing is the hardest, because it is so raw and requires a delicate balance between exploding richness, flavor, and beauty, but with enough restraint to carry the plot forward without being bogged down by the exploration of detail within a created setting.

Those are my three major styles of writing, and while everyone has their unique branches, these three are the ones I tend to gravitate towards as they allow me to express myself in the three mediums I tend to identify myself with: Light hearted/casual, Intellectual/Philosophical-Artistic.

It's always interesting to see other people's way of writing (and, in many ways, a channel to their way of thinking). Some are exceptional and really peak my interest when I read them.

Listening to: Foster the People, "Fire Escape"

Unleashing the Mind

There's a German (or French?) philosopher that said if we would only spend 15 minutes a day doing nothing (as in, no phones, no books, no electronics of any sort, just staring straight ahead, sitting, in quiet) that we would reap some great levels of creativity and intellectual growth from simply doing (or, not doing?) this lack of activity. I think that's an interesting idea, because I find my mind is most active when I do sit and do nothing (or, as a compromise, very little - like driving a car forward for hours on end). However, by "more active", it sometimes gets overrun with less than intellectual thoughts such as worrying about grades, work, friendships, among a slew of other "less than" intellectually sound philosophizing.

I would be intrigued to hear the results of people doing absolutely nothing for just a quarter of an hour. It's pretty remarkable how much our brain can consciously process in just a minute's time if you let it (I understand this is a scary experience for some). Also, at least for me (not trying to make myself seem special, just reporting my thoughts separate from others'), the quality of thought has a way of rising quite sharply when I let my mind take me to where it will, unrestricted. I certainly plan on writing more on this, because it is a fascinating phenomena that I'd like to explore more in myself.

I used to chronicle a dream journal. Maybe I will do something similar here? I'll see how I feel is the best course of action. I'm also curious to see what other people gather from an experience like this.

Listening to: Puscifer, "The Humbling River"

Gifts on Special Occasions

I was driving today, in some chilly rain, and as I had no need for a destination, I decided to take the long way back home. On my drive, a quote came to me, because I was thinking about one of my relationships. The quote sounds a bit like, "A good gift to someone on their birthday, anniversary, holiday should come from listening in the present, and remembering the past."

Generally I'd let a person mull that over, but my point extends past the quote, a mere instrument to my real point. A good present to give someone requires listening ears and mind with the consciousness to remember that point of listening long enough to act upon it - the longer it has been since the occurrence of said "listening", the more impact that gift will strike.

Anyway, I started to come up with a third point to add to my quote, but then I stopped and thought, "How often are quotes, impactful sayings, and sentences filled with the number 3 (for example, this very sentence)? It seems that people often scramble to find a third "point of emphasis" to their legitimate dualism, making their overall statement weaker for adding a third point that doesn't measure to their initial two points. In my quote, I desperately wanted to add something about the future, but after some thought, I knew that it would end up being a sub-par ending to an already valid quote.

The joys of my mind, sometimes.. ha!

Listening to: Gotye, "Eyes Wide Open"

Un-thinkable Thought and the Un-disgraced Intellect

I'm genuinely uncertain if it is possible for people, especially people entrenched in belief, to put away their beliefs and offer blank intellectual ideas, unscathed by their biases. I think all people, if not most, agree that every individual has bias in one way or another. I believe that the key is to recognize one's bias and detach oneself from that bias. Yea, yea, I know you're probably thinking, "That's impossible". Simply, I disagree. Maybe some people do not have the emotional intelligence to separate their intellect, their brain power from their underlying bias flavor and apply it in a manner that adds to a collection of thoughts - a discussion.

I have yet to meet a group of people that could step into a room, vomit their bias up into a bucket as they walk in, sit down, and be calm enough to hear "taboo" ideas. I don't like the idea of ideas being "unspeakable", "unthinkable", or otherwise "taboo". Surprisingly, we can all think of ideas that would make any regular room of people extremely uncomfortable. What I'm trying to figure out is if it is possible to eradicate that discomfort to a level that everyone in the room will take a presented statement and instead of reacting to their idea of how they would normally react (personal bias), or react dictated by the social norm (social bias), they would take the statements and dissect them with their mind, completely oblivious of the implications of said statements.

For example, if I said, "Slavery of the African American community was a positive occurrence, and it should have kept going into current day", or, "God does exist, there is proof of his existence", or even far more gruesome (social bias, again) instances that are difficult to utter without prefacing them with a thousand "warnings" distancing yourself from your own thought ("I'm not racist, but... I'm not trying to be mean, but... etc) then the immediate reaction is to look incredulous, insulted, and not entertain the thought even for a second (social bias). I'm wondering if there are people out there that can entertain ideas that most people would consider "appalling" and not necessarily go straight 180 and accept them as true (personal bias), but simply be able to discuss them without immediately attaching the uttered idea to the utter-er with judgement. Simply stating an idea does not 1) necessarily mean you believe the idea, or 2) that you have an emotional attachment to the idea. Literally, a place where any thought counts as equal, and every thought is immediately detached from the speaker as a person, but simply a suspended idea to be dissected cold bloodily, analytically by a group of people using their mind devoid of irrational emotion (and yes, I believe there is such a distinction between rational and irrational emotion). The ability to separate an idea from a person's character seems impossible for a massive amount of people - the "you said it, you must mean it" mentality is pretty rudimentary and gives little credit to the human mind.

I'd be interested in meeting more people with that ability - not because I have socially awkward or tough ideas to discuss, but because if I did have an uncomfortable idea I'd be able to discuss it without prefacing it with an assortment of warnings - it would simply be implied, or even unnecessary, leading to an in-depth discussion of minds working together to casually push and prod each intellect further into thought and discussion. Bottom line, a pure appreciation of intellect, blind to the source - a little like art.

Listening to: Notorious B.I.G.

Fitspo

I'm a relatively diverse person, or at least, I like to think so - if that's the case or not, I don't much care. However, one of my greatest interests and passions is fitness and nutrition - I don't think that's a huge shock to anyone who has even an inkling of know about me. I love the fitness community, and I equally adore the research and science behind everything body and mind related. However, I'm growing increasingly weary of seeing "fitspo" (fitness inspiration) posts. Quite frankly, they all say the exact same thing by some measure or another. I understand people sometimes need to motivate themselves, but posts are so redundant. I mean, how many quotes are there about "never give up"; let's be honest, 98% of the posts reflect that thought in one way or another - as they should, obviously, but posting numerous posts saying the same thing every day can get a bit tedious. I've thought of erasing posts on my social media sites due to the massive influx of unoriginal fitness motivation. I posted this stuff, too, mind you, but recently (the past year or so) I've gotten worn down with the incessant need to recharge ourselves with mindless quotes (for example, "I'll keep getting beat down, and I'll keep getting up" > all I can think is.. "damn, what an idiot... try something else instead of hitting your head on the same wall."). My idea of motivation is different from other's way of motivation, this I understand, but I'm only expressing how tired I get of seeing the same brainless one liners (a little like movies... don't go there, Nic.. compose yourself..) being pasted on the background of some super model or hot hunk lifting 500 lbs.

Enough already, I get it - you're going to give your best in the gym, I read you loud and clear.

I guess this is why I consider myself cynical. :-P

Listening to: Puscifer - "Momma Sed"

Start of Cutting Diet of 2014

Today marks the firs day of my "cutting diet", implying that I will be reducing my body fat percentage while sparing as much muscle as possible. I've only done this once before, but last time was a resounding success, but the major difference between then and now is that I'm starting considerably leaner than I was at the beginning of my last cut. I was 250lbs @ 15-16% body fat and cut down to 222lbs @ 11% bodyfat. Now, after gaining 10 lbs over the past 9 months or so (inb4 pregnant), I've escalated to a proportionally lean 232lbs @ 12% body fat. My goal is to get below 10% body fat and finally have striking 6 pack and define the rest of my body more than I have ever had it defined. I'm going to be aiming for 9% body fat - we will see how the journey goes. The tricky part is losing almost exclusively body fat without losing muscle tissue. I know that getting into single digit body fat will lead to a more strenuous journey, but I look forward to experiencing it as a whole.

Week 1 - 232.0 lbs ~12-12.5%BF
Week 2 - 230.2 lbs
Week 3 - 227.8 lbs

Laugh At Your Temporary Lack of Skill

So, recently, I've taken on a new responsibility (if you can call it that) that needs a considerable amount of practice to become good. Well, I'd like to talk briefly about being a beginner at something. There is one thing that will make it that much easier to become an expert at something, and that is...

TUNE IN ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON. BALL. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Just kidding.

You need to accept that you absolutely suck at what you're doing. YOU ARE AWFUL. Fuck your skill, it is incredibly bad. The sooner you go into most things with a unrealistic downplay of your talents, and above all, an appreciation that everything you do will only be an improvement, the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can distance yourself from your own expectations - as well as personal and societal pressures.

Really, the best way to accept your own horrific shitiness is by pulling the intensity off of yourself with laughter. Laugh at your own inability and create a sense of humor as to acknowledge that you need significant improvement, but it is a fun, exciting challenge that you'd like to keep enjoying (as opposed to internalizing your mistakes and creating negative energy and friction within your body - we've all been there, quickly freaking out when things don't go our way, especially when we have the expectation that we should be brilliant at an activity we've never done).

My .02 cents. Im using that light, airy mentality when I attempt my endeavor of the nigh future.

Listening to: Gorillaz, "Fire Coming Out of a Monkey's Head"

Musical Evolution in the Distant Beyond

I wonder what music will sound like in the future, and I don't mean in the near future, but the distant, several hundred and thousand year future. I've thought that the quality in artists, at least in the mainstream, has diminished considerably in the past several years, but my query isn't with the quality in the music, but the style of listening and appreciation. I mean, we had decade long musical styles come and go (Funk, Disco, Rock&Roll, etc) with the most recent one being Pop and the growing fascination with EDM. It seems that our transition from one fascination to another is rather quick, starting from the 50s onward; almost every decade had a dedicated style, but how many more can there be?

Will we see a resurgence in certain styles? Will we see new, unthought of ideas? I think it'll be interesting to see how music develops. Also, I find it interesting the similarities between all these styles: they all have some sort of bass, a lead sound, and drums (of course there are exceptions). Will that instrumentation style change? I think humans are capable of appreciating sound without those instruments or a lack of one or another instrument, but it will be odd to imagine a sense of music without a hard hitting bass, a distinct movement in the music, or something that ties it to the last 60 years of music evolution.

Maybe in a few centuries we will be experiencing music in a different way, who knows, but one thing is almost certain: something is bound to change and it'll be quite a sight to experience. 

Listening to: Led Zeppelin, "Dazed and Confused"

Joining the Motorcycle Family

About 30 seconds ago, I ordered a motorcycle helmet to my "soon to be" first motorcycle. I have taken  measures over the past several months to ensure that I would be able to carry on a family tradition of riding motorcycles. My father has been riding motorcycles since before he was able to walk (well, okay, maybe not that long, but he has been riding motorcycles since his teenage years). He's been riding on the steel steed for the better part of his life, and while I used to ride with him often on long trips to the beach for some quality "papa-son" bonding, it has been a few years since one motorcycle has been able to carry two giants upon its back - one of which is still growing (ME - IF I NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS, lol). I have a good amount of confidence that my father's old BMW Windjammer II would have a tougher time now than 8+ years ago when I wasn't quite as sizable.

Good times, though. I enjoyed the ride on the back of the motorcycle, although the first time I was passenger was quite terrifying. Back then, when I was 14,15, I never expected to find myself in the position I am now. I found motorcycles interesting enough, on the surface, but I was never that invested. Recently, I've found myself thinking about having my own ride and joining my dad on those same lengthy journeys, but this time, side by side, not hunkered down on one two-wheeler. I'm not looking to go blazing speeds, although that is part of the thrill, but rather experience a sensation of freedom that I always felt on the back of the bike. This time, however, I look forward to having my own set of controls and enjoyment at my disposal.

I chose to take a leap and take the motorcycle course, which was a highly educational, informative, useful, and terrifying experience (especially since 40% of the class failed out). I went from not knowing jack- to being proficient enough to ride safely. Do I feel confident enough to ride at length and bask in the comfort of my own expertise? Absolutely not, but I have to charge onward and take the next leap at polishing the skill, just as with anything (except, of course, with this one if you're an idiot, you could die). I am excited to do so and eventually feel comfortable enough to put myself in more challenging situations.

By my understanding, the motorcycle community is quite vast and once you've found your niche, it is quite close knit - I also look forward to seeing the truth to those claims. Admittedly, I didn't decide to do this for the community (the reasoning being far more intrinsic), but maybe with time I will come to embrace the 2 wheel community as I have with the exercise community. I am nervous about my green status, but the only way to get past that is to move at one's own pace and progress.

I'm just expressing unorganized thoughts today, but to know that my life is going to take a small change for the "even better", along with the opening of my business shortly, this will prove to be a very thrilling, progressive summer this year - I am waiting with bated breath for everything to get underway.

Listening to: Halo 4 Soundtrack "Haven"